okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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