whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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