I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
