You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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