Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
