You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
pop tarts are not kleenex
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
