Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
