Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
