this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
