ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
