I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize