i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
