I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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