At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize