i barfeds in our rink
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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