someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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