Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
