so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
