when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
