he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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