i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
