I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's rum buckets o'clock
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
