thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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