I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize