If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
