I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
