what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
