Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
