I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
