I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I deserve this hangover.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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