I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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