Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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