Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
