just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
