I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
