I'm gonna have a badass scar
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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