He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
