I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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