I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can vaginas get frostbite?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
