I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
