you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
