she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
