How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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