I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
pop tarts are not kleenex
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
