You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize