I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
