How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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