Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
