should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
