i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
