Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
worst night to have a conscience
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
