If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
