we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
nutella sex= disaster
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize