it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
