my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize