I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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