I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I am one with the molecules
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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