Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
