So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
