How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
