Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
