My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
