I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
