Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
