I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
